i know i wished for the serenate before there was ever a song to be sang.
i wished for the lions at the gate, for the nice gestures, the soft spoken and unpleasently rude on touch. i know i've whispered too many "i wish" before. i know about this sin and all the others, i know i've hated the day i was born, the day i cared to notice myself on earth, i know i've found myself surrounded but never truly comprehended... i know in such a profound way that it hurts. i've understood that whenever i don't expect much, much never shows up and is irresistibly replaced by perhaps, i've clearly taken that as my motto. i know i'm supposed to fight but i was never any good at beating, so i stand watching silently, my opponents not realizing my presence or treating me with such kindness that i think i'm actually worthy of the air i breathe. i know about the days i wanted to erase my skin and be see-through. i know about the things i wish i could say. i know about the ways life meant not to be this way. i know about the weight i carry and how this rings are heavy, only i know what i see through my skin, only i know nothing is worth it and how much this is all meaningless and how much i wish i could do to make me a less shallow human. i wish i could stop talking about how i feel. i know of the waiting, of the wanting, of the needing.
i know of the timing, the rhythm, the melody.
all i wish i knew better was myself, so i could proudly say i'm done with this and shall never return because everytime i'm back, its because i was too afraid of letting go.
i wished for the lions at the gate, for the nice gestures, the soft spoken and unpleasently rude on touch. i know i've whispered too many "i wish" before. i know about this sin and all the others, i know i've hated the day i was born, the day i cared to notice myself on earth, i know i've found myself surrounded but never truly comprehended... i know in such a profound way that it hurts. i've understood that whenever i don't expect much, much never shows up and is irresistibly replaced by perhaps, i've clearly taken that as my motto. i know i'm supposed to fight but i was never any good at beating, so i stand watching silently, my opponents not realizing my presence or treating me with such kindness that i think i'm actually worthy of the air i breathe. i know about the days i wanted to erase my skin and be see-through. i know about the things i wish i could say. i know about the ways life meant not to be this way. i know about the weight i carry and how this rings are heavy, only i know what i see through my skin, only i know nothing is worth it and how much this is all meaningless and how much i wish i could do to make me a less shallow human. i wish i could stop talking about how i feel. i know of the waiting, of the wanting, of the needing.
i know of the timing, the rhythm, the melody.
all i wish i knew better was myself, so i could proudly say i'm done with this and shall never return because everytime i'm back, its because i was too afraid of letting go.
