Today I feel like saying the truth and saying it out loud so I can hear it.
The truth is: I know exactly what I want and even though I do know exactly what I want and I can actually name and even tag each and every single individual "thing" I want to happen to me in my life, I can't truly admit it and say it with all the intensity I'm supposed to use whenever I talk about it, specially not out loud!
Wow.
I know it, I feel it, I desire it and I can even taste it in my mouth, but I'm afraid of talking about it.
Why? you will ask because you should.
Well, I'll answer, because it scares me to think that I'll get it all. Because I know down my core that it's all very simple, I know what I want and I'm getting it. Knowing things are frightful. Being sure is fearsome. Having your hands and heart full of what makes you HAPPY is intrinsically, sickeningly, outrageously, dementedly and nervously HARDCORE SCARY, to an extend I don't even want to talk about too much out of fear of what other things I might encounter along the way.
Our world of humanity has been created on that of which we fear and this fear I'm talking about is also the very thing that sets us free.
Yes, I've learned it now, I have. And I'm so proud of myself for finally confessing it to myself, because the other half of the truth is: the rest of the world doesn't matter at all.
If you can't - and listen to this carefully - admit the reality behind your existence to yourself, how can you even acknowledge the existence and co-existence of millions of others around you? Even those you've considered the closest to your kind (whatever you call kind) can never be truly close to you in matter and substance if you don't know what the heck you are!
Do you follow? Of course you do. We are all lost and as lost as we are we are also constantly running away from ourselves, out of fear. But the fear is not the problem. The problem is not facing fear out of the fear you feel when facing fear, do you... perceive me?
Yes you do.
I know I do. I know I'm just talking to myself who happens to be YOU.
Well, anyway. I know what I want. I'm happy about it and this is kinda hurtful. Why? ask away. Because it's painful to know you are actually happy. For the first time you feel the warmth and the cold breeze mingle together in perfect harmony and you know that you are not that wall that will hold things from reaching your own life anymore, you do not stand tall as your own enemy and you never will again. You are proud of what you've learned and nothing can stop you from the things that are about to come your way... Yes.
Say yes, you know why? because you can. That should be the answer to any question, yes because I can.
I can and I am. And that's all that matters.
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