I had a struggling feeling, it was a bit like trying to swim to the shore.
I had a constant fear that if I didn't make it, I would be just fine with the idea of letting myself being dragged to the depths of the ocean. There was nothing like that feeling, nothing ever matched it and for a split second it put a blindfold over my eyes.
The only thing I could see was nothing and I liked the face of it - of nothing, I mean. Nothing's dark and scary emptiness was overwhelmingly familiar and surprisingly cozy, its arms and legs wrapped around me like the sweet embrace of that particular lover I was waiting so long to meet and finally... he was right there in front of me.
His big and hallow head, his speechless self... All the things I never imagined because I always have names and smells and colors and expressions to match my visions but oh boy, not on that day, no. I could see nothing and nothing was my truest and most humble servant. He licked my fingers dry and I allowed him to do so, I had given myself in for peer pleasure's sake.
...
