It's not that I'm hurting, okay?
It really isn't.
I would open myself to you in a moment of true despair and I would give in to any circumstance if I sincerely didn't believe it was meant to be, okay I said it. But the real thing is that I get your point. I never intended to be cool or anything, I just get it with no words being spoken, no logical reasoning being brought out to light. All I'm saying is that it's been grasped and it's kept closed and warm and well-fed and true to myself under my wings.
Your secret is safe with me, if I may say.
And if I also can say this you look amazing today- as you've been all these years-, i don't see any reason to keep it from you.
My heart is aching though. It's bleeding and it's not pumping too much blood to all my organs, muscles and tissues. I believe I might just faint in a while but I had to speak to you. When I take one of Kerouac's books in my hands and I smell it, and I read it, and I go through it I get sad because he's dead, you know? I wish I had been older, or closer or even bolder to not feel this way for any reason but I just go down like this and I don't wanna feel this way about you. I had all of these dreams and candles lit and empty bottles of southern comfort laid in front of me for so long and now it's just taking over.
I have to feed my body, as well as my soul.You're food for itAnd I'd like to be food for your world.It's like a butterfly coming and flipping her wings around you while you ask yourself what the hell did you do to deserve that little thing close to ya'... well, there's no explanation, just experience itself. Maybe experience isn't what I lack and I might just be wrong but still that butterfly's smiling to you, my friend, and if that's it she'd love to entertain you with some listening, I know you got a lot of that to do and I'm still a little closer to you than I've ever been to someone else and I weep out of joy for having you as this perfect friend you are. Perfect. In my homeland language the word perfect means "made for" and I can see why you're perfect and why I'm perfect to you. Made to be the exact friends and helpers - and criers - that will live life together even after death being. I get it.
Well... thank you for your presence on earth, thank you for your everyday long breath and realization of the nature around you as you see it.
I love that in you.
And I do love you.
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